Good Luck with That

In the event you are ready to absolutely freak out, just do it. Don’t think about it and don’t rationalize shit. Just do it for Christ’s sake. You will feel better instantly. Now later on you’ll feel like death warmed over and everyone will presumably hate you, but hey it will provide you with the instant gratification that you so preciously needed. You’ll pretend or forget that it happened. You’ll jump on twitter or facebook or one of the other famous lose-track-of-time implements and then you’ll see the face of that guy who fucked you over in the 10^th grade and think, what a douche and then you’ll realize “oh yeah I was a total douche this morning” and wham, you’re back in the shitter. Floating around the ether is the bad mojo you put out and you can’t reel it back in to stuff in the bin. As much as you’ll try to meditate and get zen you’ll figure that will last a few minutes until the cat jumps on your head, the dog sniffs your pit and the phone will ring. Of course on the phone will be a solicitor because everyone you know will have heard of the fit you pitched and will want to stay as far away as they can. The telemarketer will piss off as soon as you unleash your mopey crap on him and then again, you’ll be dragging your ass in despair. So go ahead and freak out on your friends and family – good luck with that.